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Sunday, July 3, 2011

THE CARLY REPORT - More SUMMER TIME 2011

Another report from Carly. We still have not uncovered the mysterious situation which resulted in Carly's being at leash length while inside but I am getting clues as to what might have happened. For some reason I think kicking may be involved...let's read on...

Dear Sister of the Feline Order:
Things are better today. My mom and the human woman discussed it and I'm allowed in the same room but they decided I will be kept at a distance. I'm guessing that's a good thing since I saw the little human kicking one of the teenage humans. Funny since the human woman says the little brat doesn't kick their dog. I think the little human is completely outta control. He's almost 2, doesn't talk, just grunts/yells and points although I think maybe the plug they keep in his mouth is to keep him from talking. Maybe they didn't like hearing him either. Anyway, last night my mom went for a very long walk along the beach. It was great. Even though I was clean from my bath she let me roll in the nice warm dry sand. She didn't let me roll in the wet sand. This morning the big animals they call horses were here in my yard. I watched them from the balcony and they were less distance from my nose than a bunny can jump. They kinda smell good. I wanted to roll in their poo. It's what I do. Anyway, I cried and cried to get closer to them and when one moved a bit closer to my mom on the stairs I jumped to defend her. I am brave you know! I barked but my mom and dad said it was more of a scared bark/yelp. I thought I sounded fierce. Also, this morning my mom and dad said they saw bunnies at a distance. I didn't see any but now I'm on the lookout. I want a bunny! I also saw this weird creature. At least I think it was an animal. It could have been a big insect from the water. It was round with pointy legs and it had two mouths with teeth. Each was on something that looked like an arm, one on each side of it's round body. It kept the mouths open and snapped at the human man who pulled it from the water. I'm thinking it was a little more than a mouthful and I'm guessing it tasted good because the humans said it would if it were big enough for them. I wish they'd let me have it. I think it was just right for me. Instead they let it go on the beach and it walked sideways back into the water. Yup! Sideways! I think they called it a "ker-abb'. I wanted it.
This morning we went in to town to find souvenirs. There were people everywhere so my humans stopped for lunch and then we came back here for a nap. They had tacos and let me have some of the cheese from it. My humans are nice and always let me have a taste if it isn't something that will make me sick. They said they were amazed to find decent tacos so far from Arizona. The cheese was good and I wished they'd let me have more of the tacos. Adios' for now, Carly

Hello Carly!
Well, it certainly sounds like you're having a good time in spite of some human misbehavior. People! What can you do about 'em? We gotta be sweet or we don't eat and I was never crazy about the big outdoors. So we do what we gotta do to get along with them, right?
The nice long walks on the beach makes for great therapy for your folks. It's a win-win all the way around. Since I barely know what a beach is I can't imagine what sort of weird creature that was that came out of the water. From the description though, I'd be darn glad it went back in the water. I hope your wearing galoshes on these nature walks.
Now about the horses...once again, Carly, let me remind you that you are a very small breed of doggie. You are so far out of the playing field with a horse. Surely you jest when you say you think they smell good. Are you insane? Don't get me wrong, horses are beautiful animals but I wouldn't say they smelled so good. I can't even begin to comment on your wanting to roll in horsesh**! Geez, wax my whiskers that has got to be the craziest thing I've ever heard yet. Not only you want to but you admit you want to. I'm sure there's a 1-800-number we can contact to find you some help. Can't you just be happy Herself lets you roll in the dry sand?
I'm glad things seem to be better now after the 2 humans talked. Sounds like you're possibly being framed for something the short person is responsible for and kicking must be involved. I'll read more and figure this out yet. You know I think I've warned you to be cautious around different creatures, such as don't go chasing bears, leave the chipmunks alone, stop scaring the bunnies, etc. Perhaps I should precaution you a bit stronger when it comes to dealing with a short human. In humans you have a variety of categories. Like us critters you have the male and female, adult sizes, puppies, kittens, ponies, etc. With humans they have adults and then these little dudes they refer to as children or kids, sometimes called rug rats and even better, brats. Short, mini-sized humans. Same everything except in abbreviated forms. Now unlike the average knowledgeable human that has evolved into adulthood, the mini humans can be real monsters at times. The adults know to mind their manners whereas the mini-sizes...well, not so much. They take years to conform to the adult ways where with us critters we are born, trained for 6 weeks and then it's hasta la vista junior. Consequently, some mini humans go through stages where they offer more of a challenge to the adults in training and often times the adults tend to use their age as an excuse for naughty things they do. Instead of making excuse they simply need to be consistent in correcting them. That and cut out all sugar!
Anyway, just thank your lucky stars you don't live with any of the mini humans and be extra careful around this one until you head home. Your pal, Sister VC

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