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Saturday, July 24, 2010

MATCHMAKER'S ME-OW

From Sister's in box we have the following question:

Dear Sister VC,

What do you do when you haven't dated in years and your friends keep bugging you? "Don't you want to meet someone?" ...and yet you are perfectly happy. I'm almost 60 years old and could care less. I'm finally happy just to be with myself and a few good friends.

Signed,
Fed-Up Fiona

Dear Fed-Up,

What in Puss 'n Boots name would we do without our friends? Better yet, what would our friends do without us? There's your question. You, being the person of interest, offer your friends something far more entertaining than their own trivial pursuits. Same old caca, different day, but what about YOU? Unmarried and all, you poor lonely gal, stuck at home with her cat. (You do have a cat, don't you? ...if not, get one!)

Two roads to take, choice is yours. On the one paw, next time you find yourself engaged in conversation with these well-meaning buds of yours, take command of said conversation. The minute the chit chat turns to your single-hood, start firing questions off.

For example...BFF #1, when was the last time so and so sent you flowers? Tell me you can remember! Direct the next round at BFF #2 with something like...have you and whats-his-name been out on a date night lately? What's up with that? Then hit BFF #3 with how small your grocery bill was last month and it's so fun to cook for one these days.

On the other paw, if that didn't send them running out of of your cat box, it's time to pull out the big guns. Turn on your mysterious aura...like the cat that swallowed the canary (pure fiction) only you aren't singing!

You'll be thanking me and the academy soon for your Oscar winning role. Act I begins with you dropping evasive hints that you met someone recently. Bat your eyelashes as you describe this dreamy-eyed tom cat of a man. Work it, Baby! He can be whoever you want. Your very own imaginary Adonis. Drag it on thru several acts, baiting them, hooking them, and then abruptly changing the subject. Curiosity killed the cat (old wives' tale I'm sure) but you remain aloof the entire time...you know...after all, it's merely that love struck look.

Should they start to get too nosy, wanting to meet this imaginary dude...well, simply dump him! After all, that's what I-Harmony is all about, right? (imaginary-harmony and what's that little 'e' stand for anyway?)

Did I mention two roads? There's a third road...tell your "friends" to go stare into a mirror for a switch.

Peace out my sister!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

CALLING CERBERUS...

Earlier this month I received an e-mail with some deep concerns over a very serious matter. I did my best to address it but it's a real challenge to find words to cover something so sad.

Dear Sister VC,

There has been a lot in the news lately about drug smugglers using horses to haul drugs across parts of the US border with no more than barbed wire, then the horses are tied to a bush and left to die in the desert. Once the drugs have been picked up by vehicles for transport to northern cities there is no more need for the horse. I realize that this is a hot-button subject, both 'fur' and against things going on right now and I don't anticipate a kitty of the Feline Order to participate in political hash. I am only interested in your animal point of view.

There are rescue groups who try to save them, in fact there is one horse up for adoption, listed several weeks now in the Tucson paper . If I had the appropriate property I would so offer this horse a safe home. Other horses are stolen from ranches along the border, then deserted further north to die in the desert. Sadder yet horses are by no means the only animals involved in this drama. Dogs are also being killed in order to silence their barking as the trespassing takes place across private properties.

Being an animal lover I've been bothered by nightmares about these innocent creatures of both drug and human smugglers. It upsets me that humans can care so little for these creatures. Can you offer me some solace or explanation for such inhumane behavior?

Signed,
Critter Lover

Dear Critter Lover,

Your e-mail reminds me of why I dislike reading or listening to the news so much. Of course, I am a bit prejudice when it comes to anything regarding the animal kingdom, and although it's a rare occurrence, I am almost at a loss for words. Things like this tend to curl my whiskers.

I simply have no explanation for such crude, senseless, selfish behavior out of humankind. Humans..."the paragon of animals", to quote Shakespeare...strange they can be so inhumane.

No animal deserves this kind of mistreatment, if only the tables could be turned. The reality of it is that even if the animal is rescued it has to be trained to trust humans again. Seems to me that if theses inhumane individuals go about such things they should just stick to their own kind and leave the innocent animals out of it.

There was an article written by Carmen Duarte in the July 9th issue of the Arizona Daily Star regarding the rehabilitation of drug smuggling horses. It explained the process of rescuing these horses and bringing them back to a better life. We must be thankful for such rescue groups as they invest their hearts and souls into the betterment of these innocent creatures. The article was titled "Carrying Hope Instead of Drugs" and it was well written with information about the rescue groups.

Speaking of hope brings to mind what I feel would only be fair justice to those guilty of committing such acts of injustice. May they face that gate in Dante's Inferno that reads: "Abandon every hope, ye who enters here". Let's have Cerberus escort the lot of them to about the 7th circle of hell.

So my dear critter lover, I too wish you had the space to offer a kind, loving home to a rescued horse. I'm sure that would be one happy, thankful animal. I don't know that I can offer much solace concerning something so sad but at least know there are many among us who share your feelings on the subject. It wouldn't hurt any of us to at least send up a special prayer each day for all the animals and trust it will be heard.

Blessings!

Monday, July 19, 2010

Keeping Up the Pace


Happy hot July to all! Long time no blog! I could say it was due to unforeseen circumstances...but I won't. I could say you wouldn't believe what happened last month...but I won't. I could say it's hard to get good help these days...but I won't.

Instead let's just go with the fact that my human, "Thumbs", as I like to call her (since, let's face facts, these appendages are what I pay her for!) experienced a wee bit of trouble keeping up the pace. Make her type when she's not in the mood and I guarantee you she goes cranky on me. Lucky for me when she's on a roll and both fingers are flying she never reads what she's typing. Consequently I can get away with a bit of badgering but don't get me wrong, we have an excellent relationship. The main reason she agreed to be my assistant was that typing my blog had to be better than listening to my incessant meowing. Touche!

Anyway, in the meantime, back at the Catvent, we'd like to introduce a new upcoming feature to our little blog. The Notch of the Week is coming your way soon.

From time to time haven't we all run across something that just about raises the hair on our back, rubs us the wrong way, makes our blood boil, gets the whiskers in a bunch? You know what I'm talking about! The things you see when you don't have a camera or a witness!

Then there are other times when something happens that strikes the funny bone, makes us laugh out loud, causes a warm fuzzy feeling or gives you a chill.

So good, bad or ugly, each week I will be on the lookout for something that screams for a whack from Sister's yardstick.

If any of you out there come across something you feel deserves a notch on my yardstick just send me an e-mail at: sistervc2@gmail.com

After all, this should be fun!

Notches Away!