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Friday, June 10, 2011

THE CARLY REPORT

For a change in direction we are going to blog about a canine friend of mine who has just emBARKed on a road trip from Arizona to Pennsylvania. Carly is half Beagle, half Chihuahua and has a first class co-pilot seating arrangement in the huge windshield of her human’s RV. So I mentioned taking me along via computer on her trip and as long as her humans can get a computer connection when they rest for the night I should hear a nightly report. I thought it would be fun to share with the rest of you. They just left yesterday and the following is Carly’s first report followed by my response:

Dear Sister Very Catty,

I thought I'd write and tell you about a trip we are taking in hopes you'll be able to add some shuggestions. I am a Canine type critter, specifically a "Cheagle". Today my humans have started a cross country trip in a rolling tin can they call an Arr Vee. I like to ride up in the front window where I can watch for any rabbits. My beagle half would love to chase some rabbits but my leash is never long enough. They must be inneresting critters though because I can smell it from the poop they leave in the soccer fields at the park. We had a very long trip the first day and stopped for the night in some land called "Texas". All I can say about it is it's horribly hot. My human's talking-moving picture thingy, called a TeeVee said it was some kinda heat wave but from the short stubby trees, I'm thinking it must be heat waved here a lot. It took the cooling box on the tin can 3 hours to cool it down to the mid 80's. After the sun went down and it still wasn't cool in here my guy human went out and sprayed water all over the outside of the tin can. I think it might have helped. He's been in a pretty good mood for being so hot but my girl human has been horrible!. Not just the heat because I certainly cooled myself down by rolling in the cool damp grass just outside the tin can and then in the dirt. Man! did she loose it! She rubbed me down all over with some kind of wipes. Seems she thought I should continue to smell the way I did after she gave me a bath yesterday before starting this trip. Personally I think the dirt and grass smelled goooood! Then, because it was soo hot in the tin can she tried to sit outside in the shade but she got bit several times by the monster flies which live here. They bit me too but I didn't complain. I did eat one though - I'm fast!. Anyway she continued to bitch about how bad it itched and hurt and smeared some kinda stuff on it which didn't help. I made the mistake of asking her to type a letter but that led to a whole bunch more bitching. It took over 30 minutes to "get on" the computer connection. Her bitching used the term Dee Ess El which she said stood for something called Damn Slow Lard-ass system. Man was she mad! It took her so long that I fell asleep on the bench next to her. She also had something called a "Vodka Collins" which usually mellows her out but it didn't work this time. Then she goes and takes a cool shower to chill out and got out complaining about having forgotten to pack something called Dee OO Der Ant. I offered to let her use the wipes :)

Dear Carly,

Well, hang tight, little buddy….this was just the first day and you have a lot of miles to go yet. For starters I’m guessing you should probably cease the drop and roll with the grass and dirt combo...maybe check for clean, dry grass first or you’ll be enjoying more of those wipes. You do realize humans use those wipes on baby’s butts, right?

I gotta hand it to you though....offering up the wipes cuz she forgot her deodorant...touché’!

Next time maybe she’ll follow your lead and try the grass roll herself. Kiss Texas good-bye and here’s hoping tonight’s stay will be in a cooler place…..but then it is summertime so good luck with that. Give the humans another day or two to adjust to this roady lifestyle and then maybe they won’t be so high maintenance. Make her Vodka Collins a double next time!

Happy Trails!

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