Confession is good for the soul, right? As humans you at some time or another may do something or say something and then decide it wasn't such a good idea to have done that or said whatever it was you said. Then you start to worry about it, you can't shake it, you fret over it, you really wish you hadn't done it. Guilt starts creeping in and soon it begins to eat away at you until the urge to get it off your chest is so strong you feel you must spill your guts to somebody. I'm talking none other than the human condition known as guilt which leads to confession time. Who out there does not know what I'm talking about? Trust me, I listen to it all the time so I thought I might attempt to ease some of those guilt-ridden consciences a little bit by discussing another human ritual known as the New Year's Resolutions.
On that note let's see a show of paws....how many of you actually made New Year's Resolutions this year? That's right, just a few short weeks ago you possibly "resolved" to do something new this year. Admit it, maybe that midnight toast got to your head and you once again created these grandiose, impossible to keep resolutions. Did you write them down so you'd follow them? Did you even take yourself seriously when you concocted them? Or was it just the standard same old, same old, the ultimate boring BS resolutions....going to eat better, going to eat less, going to exercise, lose weight, join a gym, maybe go to church, save money, cut down on drinking, on spending, stop smoking, be kinder to others, call your mother. C'mon, let's hear it. Spit it out while I find the shovel...you know...since confession is ...well, you know!
My next curiosity...of those alleged resolutions, would it be easier to tally up how many actual resolutions were made, how many you've actually kept or how many have you already forgotten about? Go ahead, do the math. Then let that shame start invading your head, jump on board that guilt train to nowhere. You know the one that just keeps cruising down the tracks of the day to day grind, stopping occasionally to view a television commercial designed to keep you 'on track' and guilty! The ads that flood the air waves as soon as the holidays are gone, the ads showing you every imaginable piece of exercise equipment known to humans complete with a wafer size model to take you through the boring as hell infomercial. Don't forget the ads for all the different miracle ways to drop those holiday pounds, now endorsed by a famous celebrity. See the domino-effect conspiracy happening here? The marketing world knows you've made these ridiculous resolutions so they flood you with reminders, commercial after commercial with false promises of weight loss, or wrinkle removers, or anti-anything, instigating that guilty feeling over that empty resolution you made on new year's eve. Damn the champagne!
My mission here is to erase that guilt so people get a clue here once and for all. It's easy to see from a cat's perspective that you simply should not be making these silly resolutions when you begin a new year. What are you thinking anyway? How dumb can you be? Why torture yourselves like this? You and I know full well you have no intention of keeping that resolution so give it up. No resolutions, no guilt. Stop kidding yourselves. It's as easy as that. I mean you sure don't see us doing such a silly thing...why would we when we are already perfection in fur?!
In summation I might confess that I had a resolution to write more frequently in my blog but noting the date of my last entry it would appear as though I had not kept my resolution, correct? Wrong! Did not make any such resolution, will not be boarding any guilt train and you know what else? Frankly my dears, no one gives a damn! There...guilt absolved for all!
Friday, January 27, 2012
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