That's right...brace yourselves. You might ask why and I might say because winter is coming, or perhaps I've got news, or maybe I need to be honest and tell you those pants do make your butt look big. Or I might say brace yourselves because a nasty gram arrived in the mail today from a bill collector, or how's about your mother-in-law is coming to visit? Yeah, I might say any one of those things...but I won't. Instead my brace yourselves warning comes as a result of a horrible rumor I read today that tells me yet another member of that family that nobody gives a hoot about keeping up with might be featured on the next DWTS season. Can we take another one? Granted the most recent one turned out all right but this potential one I'm referring to...let's just say I can feel the fur on my back rising as I write, the urge to hiss and spit is really strong, I may have to go rearrange the litter in my box. Hard as I have tried to avoid "keeping up" the fact remains it is darn near impossible not to because every time you turn around there's a headline with one of their names on it. And now it's come to this...the threat of not just another one hitting DWTS, but the worst one of all...the in-your-face, bossy butt, camera-hogging mother hen.
Frankly, I just don't know if I can go on. There have been occasions when I was in the room while there was channel surfing occurring and once in awhile the TV would land on that ludicrous expose. Has everyone not yet signed the petition? Come on people, work with me here. Who do we need to Occupy to prevent watching another season of not-really stars ruin DWTS?
What's the world coming to? Do we really care if that short, top-heavy, attention-craving little rich girl suffering from make-up overload divorces that you've-got-to-be-kidding-me Lurch Look-a-Like? Seriously?! And now big sister to the rescue breeding more of this herd, possibly tying the knot, maybe just a little damage control going on here?
So why not throw the know-it-all old busybody to the dancing wolves? Actually now that I've vented a little I'm starting to rethink things a bit. Dancing is a really strenuous workout in itself. If you're not in shape to begin with then these dancing lessons are gonna really kick your ass. Not to mention I pity the poor guy who gets stuck with this "contestant". I just pray it's not Maksim. He had a tough enough season with no "hope" of winning it and doesn't deserve such cruel treatment.
So obviously no one has asked me yet who I would suggest as contestants next season. My offer to assist still stands, of course. It was such a tough week for me, this first week without DWTS so I suppose I just felt like venting a little. Seems as though withdrawals have set in. Yes, it was difficult enough waking up Monday & Tuesday knowing there would be no DWTS that evening and then....and then I saw that rumor and it just sent me over the edge.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GAB, GAB
A happy Thanksgiving to all on this Thanksgiving Eve for 'tis time to entertain extra company, possibly tolerate obnoxious football cheers from the peanut gallery, slave over extra cooking and cleaning chores along with over-stuffing one's self with too much turkey and all those fixins' and for dessert on top of that cream covered pumpkin pie say hello to our final Mercury Retrograde for 2011. Yep, hate to ruin dinner people but it's time once again to be on alert and watch what you say, how you say it and to who you say it. Double check all your math, your correspondence, your flight times, try not to screw up your checkbook, dial the wrong number or inadvertently mail that birthday card to the ex-wife. Any of these things can happen to any one but with extra care you can hopefully avoid those mishaps. But be sure and email me all your screw up stories cuz it makes for great reading. C'mon now, you've got until December 13th to mess up something so on your marks, get set, go...
Besides, I need something to help me through withdrawals now that DWTS has ended another season. It was a tough fight to the finish and I honestly couldn't tell who would take the trophy. I pegged Ricki Lake to place third and she did but both Rob and JR danced so well I couldn't predict who would take the trophy. Congrats to JR and great job, Rob.
Now don't get me wrong here people...I am totally anti-Kardashi-u-no-who's...get them off the television puuleeze!!! Enough already with that family. I just sort of feel for Rob being the only male out of six siblings. I don't want to point paws or name names or anything but that one sister has got to be an embarrassment. Which sister you ask? Oh, just pick one, but I'm referring to the one who recently said 'I do' and then didn't. Latest word is because new hubby said something to the effect that her butts big and that her fame won't last. True and true...but perhaps he should not have said that out loud. Main thing is the rest of us frankly don't give a dam.
So no more DWTS for awhile and let's all pray they take time to come up with some real stars next season. I mean they really scraped the bottom of the barrel this time and it was so disappointing to tune in and discover that over half of them you never heard of. A soccer champ? As a seriously anti-sports cat why would I recognize her as a 'star'? I'm still upset over that. Now at least we all know who Chaz is but what was with an ex-girlfriend of George Clooney? If not for George, again we'd be asking who is she? The unfortunate few who recognized the scowl-faced prosecutor, talk show host, whatever wondered how she was suddenly raised to 'star level'? Honestly, her presence was like a cruel and unnecessary punishment to your loyal DWTS fans. You do realize how hard it was to watch that? Bless that poor guy who had to dance with her. Wonder what he ever did to deserve that? David Arquette was an absolute delight to watch and yet we were left with Miss LackofGrace. But no sense crying over spilled milk...it's over and it was great dancing as always. However, I did want to throw in a couple names as suggested contestants for next season. I vote for real stars this time, not wannabees. Stars we recognize along with a few sacrificial losers, of course.
My first vote goes to a cat who dances so well already that I'd suggest he be an instructor. I'm referring to a cat who can bust a move, a cat with pure musicality, fluid arm movements, light on his paws as he glides his partner over the dance floor. We're talking about Puss n' Boots, of course. Have you seen his new movie? Fantastic. He dances with Miss Soft Toes and we're talking Mirror-ball Winner all the way. Bruno would love him.
Then I thought Ellen should give it a shot since she loves to dance and seems to move about real smooth and obviously she's got rhythm. Besides, she'd have a ball and be a hoot to watch. Betty White would be another great star, wonder if she's booked already. Who else? Oh, how about David Schwimmer, aka Ross Geller? He'd be fun. Throw in Dr. Phil...just so the ever-bright Brooke can shove the mike in his face and ask one of her brilliant questions like how does dancing make you feel?
Anyway, I could certainly come up with a list of stars but for some reason...nobody asked me. It's almost as though they really don't care what I think. Oh well.
Happy Thanksgiving Turkeys, One & All!
Besides, I need something to help me through withdrawals now that DWTS has ended another season. It was a tough fight to the finish and I honestly couldn't tell who would take the trophy. I pegged Ricki Lake to place third and she did but both Rob and JR danced so well I couldn't predict who would take the trophy. Congrats to JR and great job, Rob.
Now don't get me wrong here people...I am totally anti-Kardashi-u-no-who's...get them off the television puuleeze!!! Enough already with that family. I just sort of feel for Rob being the only male out of six siblings. I don't want to point paws or name names or anything but that one sister has got to be an embarrassment. Which sister you ask? Oh, just pick one, but I'm referring to the one who recently said 'I do' and then didn't. Latest word is because new hubby said something to the effect that her butts big and that her fame won't last. True and true...but perhaps he should not have said that out loud. Main thing is the rest of us frankly don't give a dam.
So no more DWTS for awhile and let's all pray they take time to come up with some real stars next season. I mean they really scraped the bottom of the barrel this time and it was so disappointing to tune in and discover that over half of them you never heard of. A soccer champ? As a seriously anti-sports cat why would I recognize her as a 'star'? I'm still upset over that. Now at least we all know who Chaz is but what was with an ex-girlfriend of George Clooney? If not for George, again we'd be asking who is she? The unfortunate few who recognized the scowl-faced prosecutor, talk show host, whatever wondered how she was suddenly raised to 'star level'? Honestly, her presence was like a cruel and unnecessary punishment to your loyal DWTS fans. You do realize how hard it was to watch that? Bless that poor guy who had to dance with her. Wonder what he ever did to deserve that? David Arquette was an absolute delight to watch and yet we were left with Miss LackofGrace. But no sense crying over spilled milk...it's over and it was great dancing as always. However, I did want to throw in a couple names as suggested contestants for next season. I vote for real stars this time, not wannabees. Stars we recognize along with a few sacrificial losers, of course.
My first vote goes to a cat who dances so well already that I'd suggest he be an instructor. I'm referring to a cat who can bust a move, a cat with pure musicality, fluid arm movements, light on his paws as he glides his partner over the dance floor. We're talking about Puss n' Boots, of course. Have you seen his new movie? Fantastic. He dances with Miss Soft Toes and we're talking Mirror-ball Winner all the way. Bruno would love him.
Then I thought Ellen should give it a shot since she loves to dance and seems to move about real smooth and obviously she's got rhythm. Besides, she'd have a ball and be a hoot to watch. Betty White would be another great star, wonder if she's booked already. Who else? Oh, how about David Schwimmer, aka Ross Geller? He'd be fun. Throw in Dr. Phil...just so the ever-bright Brooke can shove the mike in his face and ask one of her brilliant questions like how does dancing make you feel?
Anyway, I could certainly come up with a list of stars but for some reason...nobody asked me. It's almost as though they really don't care what I think. Oh well.
Happy Thanksgiving Turkeys, One & All!
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
CAN WE SAY DRAMA QUEEN DRIVER?
Just when you think you've heard it all something comes along to change your mind. Would you believe there's an Arizona grandmother that wants to "OCCUPY NASCAR"? Frankly, I can't say I blame her and after reading her email I tend to think she may be on to something.
Our desert granny happens to be a huge NASCAR fan. So much so that she finds it unbelievable that there are people out there who are not fans....including myself. So for her sake I did a little research to see what all her stress was over and I find myself very much on her team. Both her and hubby are glued to the television for all the races and this past Friday she witnessed a very un-sportsman-like scene involving an intentional wreck causing another driver to lose any chance of winning the race.
NASCAR is supposed to be exciting to watch (evidentially) and I'm sure the closer the race the more exciting it gets (probably). It's obviously intensely competitive and when that flag comes down and the race is over, there's going to be a winner and there's going to be runner-ups, not losers. Along the way anything both unforeseen and unfortunate can occur resulting in a car being eliminated or disqualified, like say it catches fire, suffers engine trouble, or blows a tire...all unpredictable events. Then there's the necessary pit stops which at times can result in a car losing precious minutes. It's all part of the sport.
What should not happen ever in any race is a driver intentionally doing something so completely childish to another vehicle that it results in that car being completely knocked out of the running. Yet that is exactly what happened Friday. Two vehicles get chewed up and spit out, in turn distracts the other drivers and now the race is abruptly over for both drivers and all due to an immature act of aggression on the part of one selfish individual.
NASCAR's age requirement is 18 years old....physically, that is. Obviously there's no mental age limit since it sounds as though they allow ignorant sorts to race. In my book 26 years old is old enough to know better, but then is it with some individuals? Since I've also read that there have been previous incidents where this person has been warned, fined large amounts of money and put on probation, I tend to think he must be just plain ignorant. Being a hot-head behind the wheel does not make one a champion in any race. Maybe he thinks being a bad guy makes him seem grown up. Maybe he just wants to follow in a sibling's footsteps. Just exactly what is biting his hiney? Who does he think he is to do something so undignified in front of the fans?
I think a true champion is someone who can lose as gracefully as they can win. Was the possibility of losing so intense that this loser thought he could justify what he did? Or did he just not think at all? Such aggressive behavior displayed for all to see tends to leave a nasty taste especially when you think of what kind of message it portrays to the younger fans watching. As our AZ grandmother pointed out in her missive, she raised a son and he has raised two sons and now one of them has a young son. They all love to watch the races. What did that driver's lack of respect say to the little fan? What if that driver had been hurt? Those racing vehicles go really, really, really fast. How much control did that aggressive jerk have when he crunched into that other vehicle? Again, anything could have happened as a result of his stupid stunt. Will the littlest fans see this as acceptable behavior? Is NASCAR about every man for himself? Is this how sporting events are supposed to go? Parents have to explain how NOT to act, that this guy is definitely not a role model.
What did the nasty driver's punishment say to these impressionable little minds? Another fine again...that's easy enough since money is probably not an issue. An indefinite probation....he's probably loving the adrenaline rush over that one. Oh, and sit out the next race...ouch...a time-out. And then don't forget his big apology of sorts...the expected-what-else-can-he-say words that 10 to 1 somebody else wrote for him. Ignorant, remember?
Aggression is a mode of communication and behavior where one expresses their feelings, needs and rights without regard or respect for the needs, rights and feelings of others. Emotional or physical force is often used so that the rights of others are not allowed to surface. Try explaining that to a young one who was quite upset about seeing that performance. Can you tell him such obvious aggression won't lead to violence?
According to the latest updates this individual will be allowed to compete in the upcoming race in Phoenix this week-end. Interestingly enough there is rain predicted both Saturday and Sunday. To top that off I read that the drivers are concerned over the quality of this race and how it may upset the fans because of a possible single-file style race. Since testing the track last month they discovered the track had been recently repaved and reconfigured. NASCAR's last visit in February resulted in trouble developing even one reliable racing groove. Now do I sound like I know what I'm talking about or what?! Research people, just research.
Anyway new pavement typically means single file racing at any track for the first few years of a new surface because there's only one good racing groove and with the searing hot desert heat on this track there was no choice but to repave. So my question is will that be the only concern for these drivers? Anyone worried about being the car in front of that M&M sponsored car? Will the drama queen further embarrass and defame the poor candies represented on his vehicle? Just how short is his little fuse? Will the track conditions, or perhaps the weather conditions upset him to the point of trying to plow through anyone in his way? Sounds to me like maybe he needs to go back home and learn some good old-fashioned manners and learn respect for others and get down off his high horse once and for all before somebody gets hurt. Sometimes that early onset of fame isn't such a good thing when it fails to mature the individual in such a way that he fails to appreciate the competition rather than run it into a wall.
On your marks, get set, go OCCUPY, Granny!
Our desert granny happens to be a huge NASCAR fan. So much so that she finds it unbelievable that there are people out there who are not fans....including myself. So for her sake I did a little research to see what all her stress was over and I find myself very much on her team. Both her and hubby are glued to the television for all the races and this past Friday she witnessed a very un-sportsman-like scene involving an intentional wreck causing another driver to lose any chance of winning the race.
NASCAR is supposed to be exciting to watch (evidentially) and I'm sure the closer the race the more exciting it gets (probably). It's obviously intensely competitive and when that flag comes down and the race is over, there's going to be a winner and there's going to be runner-ups, not losers. Along the way anything both unforeseen and unfortunate can occur resulting in a car being eliminated or disqualified, like say it catches fire, suffers engine trouble, or blows a tire...all unpredictable events. Then there's the necessary pit stops which at times can result in a car losing precious minutes. It's all part of the sport.
What should not happen ever in any race is a driver intentionally doing something so completely childish to another vehicle that it results in that car being completely knocked out of the running. Yet that is exactly what happened Friday. Two vehicles get chewed up and spit out, in turn distracts the other drivers and now the race is abruptly over for both drivers and all due to an immature act of aggression on the part of one selfish individual.
NASCAR's age requirement is 18 years old....physically, that is. Obviously there's no mental age limit since it sounds as though they allow ignorant sorts to race. In my book 26 years old is old enough to know better, but then is it with some individuals? Since I've also read that there have been previous incidents where this person has been warned, fined large amounts of money and put on probation, I tend to think he must be just plain ignorant. Being a hot-head behind the wheel does not make one a champion in any race. Maybe he thinks being a bad guy makes him seem grown up. Maybe he just wants to follow in a sibling's footsteps. Just exactly what is biting his hiney? Who does he think he is to do something so undignified in front of the fans?
I think a true champion is someone who can lose as gracefully as they can win. Was the possibility of losing so intense that this loser thought he could justify what he did? Or did he just not think at all? Such aggressive behavior displayed for all to see tends to leave a nasty taste especially when you think of what kind of message it portrays to the younger fans watching. As our AZ grandmother pointed out in her missive, she raised a son and he has raised two sons and now one of them has a young son. They all love to watch the races. What did that driver's lack of respect say to the little fan? What if that driver had been hurt? Those racing vehicles go really, really, really fast. How much control did that aggressive jerk have when he crunched into that other vehicle? Again, anything could have happened as a result of his stupid stunt. Will the littlest fans see this as acceptable behavior? Is NASCAR about every man for himself? Is this how sporting events are supposed to go? Parents have to explain how NOT to act, that this guy is definitely not a role model.
What did the nasty driver's punishment say to these impressionable little minds? Another fine again...that's easy enough since money is probably not an issue. An indefinite probation....he's probably loving the adrenaline rush over that one. Oh, and sit out the next race...ouch...a time-out. And then don't forget his big apology of sorts...the expected-what-else-can-he-say words that 10 to 1 somebody else wrote for him. Ignorant, remember?
Aggression is a mode of communication and behavior where one expresses their feelings, needs and rights without regard or respect for the needs, rights and feelings of others. Emotional or physical force is often used so that the rights of others are not allowed to surface. Try explaining that to a young one who was quite upset about seeing that performance. Can you tell him such obvious aggression won't lead to violence?
According to the latest updates this individual will be allowed to compete in the upcoming race in Phoenix this week-end. Interestingly enough there is rain predicted both Saturday and Sunday. To top that off I read that the drivers are concerned over the quality of this race and how it may upset the fans because of a possible single-file style race. Since testing the track last month they discovered the track had been recently repaved and reconfigured. NASCAR's last visit in February resulted in trouble developing even one reliable racing groove. Now do I sound like I know what I'm talking about or what?! Research people, just research.
Anyway new pavement typically means single file racing at any track for the first few years of a new surface because there's only one good racing groove and with the searing hot desert heat on this track there was no choice but to repave. So my question is will that be the only concern for these drivers? Anyone worried about being the car in front of that M&M sponsored car? Will the drama queen further embarrass and defame the poor candies represented on his vehicle? Just how short is his little fuse? Will the track conditions, or perhaps the weather conditions upset him to the point of trying to plow through anyone in his way? Sounds to me like maybe he needs to go back home and learn some good old-fashioned manners and learn respect for others and get down off his high horse once and for all before somebody gets hurt. Sometimes that early onset of fame isn't such a good thing when it fails to mature the individual in such a way that he fails to appreciate the competition rather than run it into a wall.
On your marks, get set, go OCCUPY, Granny!
Sunday, November 6, 2011
THE ANTI-NEWS
I'm going to start this off by confessing simply that I enjoy writing. That's it in a nutshell...one simple sentence. I enjoy writing. Here, I'll repeat it...I enjoy writing. I don't necessarily consider myself a writer but maybe just a cat who prefers talking on paper. And, as much as I relish talking on paper, it's most enjoyable when I actually have something to say. Yes, that's it...to write, I need something to say. Unlike individuals who seem to talk just to hear themselves talk. You hear words hitting the air but they're not really interesting, definitely not important, absolutely nothing to do with you, yet they continue talking on and on, almost as though they believe you are listening. So naturally I feel my written words need to say something about something.
Since my Halloween blog I wanted to come up with a topic to top that bewitching post. I decided I'd say a few things about current events. You know, items that made the news, subjects some people believe other people are interested in, important things we evidentially need to be aware of in order to carry on with our mundane, not-so-newsy lives. So this is a sort of anti-news, if you will. It's my "something to say" for today.
Now competing for that biggest top news story spot would probably be the 72 hour marriage I'm sure we're all sick of hearing about. First of all, try as you might, by now there's probably no way in hell you have NOT heard of this unreality show. Gone to great lengths to avoid it, have you? Yet it continues to be televised as though the rest of the world actually wants to "keep up" with these strange people. While these individuals are quite an attractive breed of humans their "reality" show is beyond realism to most anyone who can actually stomach an entire episode. Even five minutes of watching the over-bearing, continually-in-your-business mother is enough to cause your fur to stand on end while a single glance at her male half would make one wonder what he did to piss off his plastic surgeon. The three adult daughters are quite the lookers and if you don't believe me, just ask them. Boobs and butts galore, they are pretty darn stuck on themselves to say the least. Talk about having nothing to say and when they do speak it's in such boring monotones you can drift off to sleep listening to them. Included among this lineage is one male sibling. He is currently a contestant on DWTS and has managed to hang in there through the show's halfway mark. You kind of feel for the guy having had to grow up in mammary land so he deserves a trophy just for that whether he can dance or not. Last but not least there's 2 more younger female siblings who seemed to have mastered the art of disrespect regarding their elders. Of course, how would they know when they've done something wrong...Mom's normal manner is to be going off on something anyway and dad's face is so frozen in place no one could ever tell if he's okay with stuff or about to blow a gasket with anger over something.
At any rate it seems to make for quite the ongoing saga. I suppose the elaborate, over the top wedding that was recently rubbed in our recession-filled lives could only be topped with a tour de divorce. Does anyone need a tissue? Maybe on a good note regarding this situation we recently read that the bride has gone into hiding. What a relief! Hope she's not too disappointed when no one goes looking for her.
Now as if this impending divorce isn't upsetting enough, we've got a little boy singing star being accused of fathering someone's child. Nothing like tossing in a little humor to the news pot, right? I mean seriously...you read the headlines and see a photograph depicting a very baby-faced young boy sporting an over-sized pair of spectacles that swallow his entire whisker-free face and one can't help but bust out in laughter. Go do your homework, junior!
November 9th, perhaps we can all jump for joy when you-know-who heads back to the slammer for another so-called 30 days. Will she ever go away? Wonder if she found more gratification working in the morgue than at the Woman's Center. How about go to jail, go directly to jail, do not pass 'Go', do not collect $200 and take your Dad with you!
Now, of course, this is just the entertainment side of life's bullshit news because I can't handle the other stuff. The politicians, clowns, players, crooks, the whole lot of them...no desire to even go there. There's already too much wasted space on those subjects and I'd just as soon bury them all in my litter box.
In closing I do want to send up a good-bye and a thank-you to one of my idols. A person worth "keeping up with", a true reality star, most likely doing tonight's 60 Minutes from his new desk in heaven. Probably bitching about cloud formations or the humidity up there. Of course, I never met the man but I have the distinct impression Andy Rooney would not be happy with me writing this anymore than he would be if I asked him for his autograph. I was never a fan of 60 Minutes, in all honesty, until the first time I caught Andy's commentary at the end of the program. After that I was hooked and always made sure to catch Andy's segment. Andy simply voiced what I think most people thought about most things. He was genuine. He was real. So thanks for being you, Andy and I for one will truly miss your candor.
Blessings, Sister Very Catty
Since my Halloween blog I wanted to come up with a topic to top that bewitching post. I decided I'd say a few things about current events. You know, items that made the news, subjects some people believe other people are interested in, important things we evidentially need to be aware of in order to carry on with our mundane, not-so-newsy lives. So this is a sort of anti-news, if you will. It's my "something to say" for today.
Now competing for that biggest top news story spot would probably be the 72 hour marriage I'm sure we're all sick of hearing about. First of all, try as you might, by now there's probably no way in hell you have NOT heard of this unreality show. Gone to great lengths to avoid it, have you? Yet it continues to be televised as though the rest of the world actually wants to "keep up" with these strange people. While these individuals are quite an attractive breed of humans their "reality" show is beyond realism to most anyone who can actually stomach an entire episode. Even five minutes of watching the over-bearing, continually-in-your-business mother is enough to cause your fur to stand on end while a single glance at her male half would make one wonder what he did to piss off his plastic surgeon. The three adult daughters are quite the lookers and if you don't believe me, just ask them. Boobs and butts galore, they are pretty darn stuck on themselves to say the least. Talk about having nothing to say and when they do speak it's in such boring monotones you can drift off to sleep listening to them. Included among this lineage is one male sibling. He is currently a contestant on DWTS and has managed to hang in there through the show's halfway mark. You kind of feel for the guy having had to grow up in mammary land so he deserves a trophy just for that whether he can dance or not. Last but not least there's 2 more younger female siblings who seemed to have mastered the art of disrespect regarding their elders. Of course, how would they know when they've done something wrong...Mom's normal manner is to be going off on something anyway and dad's face is so frozen in place no one could ever tell if he's okay with stuff or about to blow a gasket with anger over something.
At any rate it seems to make for quite the ongoing saga. I suppose the elaborate, over the top wedding that was recently rubbed in our recession-filled lives could only be topped with a tour de divorce. Does anyone need a tissue? Maybe on a good note regarding this situation we recently read that the bride has gone into hiding. What a relief! Hope she's not too disappointed when no one goes looking for her.
Now as if this impending divorce isn't upsetting enough, we've got a little boy singing star being accused of fathering someone's child. Nothing like tossing in a little humor to the news pot, right? I mean seriously...you read the headlines and see a photograph depicting a very baby-faced young boy sporting an over-sized pair of spectacles that swallow his entire whisker-free face and one can't help but bust out in laughter. Go do your homework, junior!
November 9th, perhaps we can all jump for joy when you-know-who heads back to the slammer for another so-called 30 days. Will she ever go away? Wonder if she found more gratification working in the morgue than at the Woman's Center. How about go to jail, go directly to jail, do not pass 'Go', do not collect $200 and take your Dad with you!
Now, of course, this is just the entertainment side of life's bullshit news because I can't handle the other stuff. The politicians, clowns, players, crooks, the whole lot of them...no desire to even go there. There's already too much wasted space on those subjects and I'd just as soon bury them all in my litter box.
In closing I do want to send up a good-bye and a thank-you to one of my idols. A person worth "keeping up with", a true reality star, most likely doing tonight's 60 Minutes from his new desk in heaven. Probably bitching about cloud formations or the humidity up there. Of course, I never met the man but I have the distinct impression Andy Rooney would not be happy with me writing this anymore than he would be if I asked him for his autograph. I was never a fan of 60 Minutes, in all honesty, until the first time I caught Andy's commentary at the end of the program. After that I was hooked and always made sure to catch Andy's segment. Andy simply voiced what I think most people thought about most things. He was genuine. He was real. So thanks for being you, Andy and I for one will truly miss your candor.
Blessings, Sister Very Catty
Monday, October 31, 2011
BOO BABY!
At last Halloween is upon us and Fall has arrived, my favorite season for obvious reasons. Mother Nature paints her landscape with colorful leaves and then spills them everywhere, the air is crispy, the sun sets earlier and then rises later and above all, there's Halloween.
Autumn is here and summer is gone and tonight's the time for witches to mount their brooms, goblins to haunt the streets and neighbors to stock up with treats lest there be tricks to pay. Are you scared yet?
To honor my favorite day of the year let's play a little 'betcha didn't know' and I'll share some Halloween facts, Jack!
For starters, betcha didn't know that over $1.5 billion is spent on costumes for Halloween each year and more than $2.5 billion on other Halloween paraphernalia. Recession? No...Monster Mash rules!
Betcha didn't know that 86% of Americans decorate their homes for Halloween! That's the Spirit, America!!
Betcha didn't know that 90% of parents confess to raiding goodies from their kid's trick or treat bags. Darn right! Me big, you little, that's the way of the world, kids! Now run your little buns around the block one more time, we're low on chocolate.
Halloween brings out the orange and black colors...betcha don't know why. Orange is associated with the Fall Harvest and black represents darkness and death. Utterly spellbinding, eh?
Here's a goodie...betcha didn't know that pumpkins are a fruit and also come in white, blue and green colors. It's the state fruit of New Hampshire and consists of 90% water...the pumpkin, not the state. Before pumpkins became the jack-o-lanterns we know of today, turnips and beets were actually the original jack-o-lanterns...and I'm betting you didn't know that either. Well, truth be told there's a story about a guy named Jack. Jack was this stingy, drunkard blacksmith who lived in Ireland. One night Jack had the misfortune of running into the Devil at a pub and legend tells us it was on Halloween night. Seems Jack had himself a little too much to drink that night and was just about to fall into the clinches of the very Devil himself when he managed to trick the Devil by offering up his soul in exchange for one last drink. Go figure, huh? So the Devil magically turns himself into a sixpence to pay the bartender but Jack takes it and puts it in his purse. Consequently because Jack happened to have a silver cross in his purse, the Devil was unable to change himself back. Jack would not let the Devil go until he promised to not claim his soul for ten years.
Negotiations went well for Jack and the Devil agreed to his proposal. Now it's ten years later and Jack comes across the Devil while strolling along a country road. Naturally, the Devil was ready to collect Jack's soul. Time indeed had come up to pay the Devil but Jack being a quick thinker said "I'll go, but before I go, will you get me an apple from that tree?" The Devil figured he had nothing to lose so he hopped up on Jack's shoulders to grab the apple. Suddenly Jack pulls out his knife and carves a cross in the tree trunk. This left the Devil suspended in the air, unable once again to take Jack or his soul. Then Jack made the Devil promise to never again ask for his soul. The Devil could see no way around this so he reluctantly agreed to Jack's request.
Years later old Jack finally dies and because of his life of heavy drinking and being deceitful to all who crossed his path along with his stingy, tightfisted ways, he was denied access to Heaven. Nowhere else to turn he applied for entrance to Hell and much to his surprise he was again turned away. The Devil was simply honoring his promise to never take Jack's soul. Jack asked the Devil where he should go and the Devil said go back where you came from. Jack soon found his way back to be very dark and windy so Jack pleaded with the Devil to give him some light to find his way. The Devil tossed a live hot coal straight from the fires of Hell at Jack. Jack placed it in the turnip he was eating so he could light his way and prevent it from blowing out in the wind.
Ever since then stingy old Jack has been doomed to wander in darkness with his lantern until "Judgment day". So Jack of the lantern became known as Jack-O-Lantern, the symbol of a damned soul.
Hope this spells things out for the rest of you....don't be stingy, drink in moderation, and for crying out loud, do not talk to strangers in the bar!
So that was Jack's story but betcha also didn't know that people also placed candles in hollowed out turnips to keep spirits and ghosts away on what they called the Samhain holiday. Samhain sounds out like sow-en or sow-in. The word we know as 'Halloween' had its origin in the Catholic church and comes from a contraction of All Hallows Eve. November 1st, "All Saints Day", is a Catholic day of observance in honor of saints. But in the 5th century BC, in Celtic Ireland, summer was officially over on October 31st. This holiday was called Samhain or the Celtic New Year...meaning 'end of summer'.
Legend claims on this day, the disembodied spirits of all those who had died throughout the previous year would come back searching for living bodies to possess for the next year. Sounds like a spooky shopping spree to me. Anyway, it is believed to be their only hope for the afterlife. The Celts believe all laws of space and time were suspended during this time allowing the spirit world to mingle with the living.
Oddly enough, the living didn't care much for being possessed. Imagine that! So on the night of October 31st, villagers would put their fires out at home to make them as cold and undesirable as possible. Then they would dress up in ghoulish costumes and noisily parade around the neighborhood, being as destructive as possible, in order to frighten away spirits searching for bodies to possess. Hmm, kind of like occupying wall street of the day?!
For some more trivia, betcha didn't know that the 1978 movie titled "Halloween" was filmed in a short 21 days on a very limited budget. The movie was shot during the spring so they had to fake the Fall leaves. Although the film is set in Illinois, oddly enough all the vehicles in the movie had California license plates. Spooky, huh?
Betcha didn't know that black cats were once believed to be witch's familiars and were there to protect their powers. The witch is a central symbol of Halloween. The name comes from the Saxon wica, meaning wise one. When setting out for a Sabbath, witches rubbed a sacred ointment onto their skin. This gave them a sensation of flying, and if they had been fasting they felt even giddier.
Some witches rode on horseback, but poor witches went on foot and carried a broom or a pole to aid in vaulting over streams. In England when new witches were initiated they were often blindfolded, smeared with flying ointment and placed on a broomstick. The ointment would confuse the mind, speed up the pulse and numb the feet. When they were told "you are flying over land and sea" the witch took their words for it.
Anybody know where we can purchase some of this flying ointment? Betcha don't know! Happy Haunting and Twick or Tweets to all!
Sister Very Black & Catty
Autumn is here and summer is gone and tonight's the time for witches to mount their brooms, goblins to haunt the streets and neighbors to stock up with treats lest there be tricks to pay. Are you scared yet?
To honor my favorite day of the year let's play a little 'betcha didn't know' and I'll share some Halloween facts, Jack!
For starters, betcha didn't know that over $1.5 billion is spent on costumes for Halloween each year and more than $2.5 billion on other Halloween paraphernalia. Recession? No...Monster Mash rules!
Betcha didn't know that 86% of Americans decorate their homes for Halloween! That's the Spirit, America!!
Betcha didn't know that 90% of parents confess to raiding goodies from their kid's trick or treat bags. Darn right! Me big, you little, that's the way of the world, kids! Now run your little buns around the block one more time, we're low on chocolate.
Halloween brings out the orange and black colors...betcha don't know why. Orange is associated with the Fall Harvest and black represents darkness and death. Utterly spellbinding, eh?
Here's a goodie...betcha didn't know that pumpkins are a fruit and also come in white, blue and green colors. It's the state fruit of New Hampshire and consists of 90% water...the pumpkin, not the state. Before pumpkins became the jack-o-lanterns we know of today, turnips and beets were actually the original jack-o-lanterns...and I'm betting you didn't know that either. Well, truth be told there's a story about a guy named Jack. Jack was this stingy, drunkard blacksmith who lived in Ireland. One night Jack had the misfortune of running into the Devil at a pub and legend tells us it was on Halloween night. Seems Jack had himself a little too much to drink that night and was just about to fall into the clinches of the very Devil himself when he managed to trick the Devil by offering up his soul in exchange for one last drink. Go figure, huh? So the Devil magically turns himself into a sixpence to pay the bartender but Jack takes it and puts it in his purse. Consequently because Jack happened to have a silver cross in his purse, the Devil was unable to change himself back. Jack would not let the Devil go until he promised to not claim his soul for ten years.
Negotiations went well for Jack and the Devil agreed to his proposal. Now it's ten years later and Jack comes across the Devil while strolling along a country road. Naturally, the Devil was ready to collect Jack's soul. Time indeed had come up to pay the Devil but Jack being a quick thinker said "I'll go, but before I go, will you get me an apple from that tree?" The Devil figured he had nothing to lose so he hopped up on Jack's shoulders to grab the apple. Suddenly Jack pulls out his knife and carves a cross in the tree trunk. This left the Devil suspended in the air, unable once again to take Jack or his soul. Then Jack made the Devil promise to never again ask for his soul. The Devil could see no way around this so he reluctantly agreed to Jack's request.
Years later old Jack finally dies and because of his life of heavy drinking and being deceitful to all who crossed his path along with his stingy, tightfisted ways, he was denied access to Heaven. Nowhere else to turn he applied for entrance to Hell and much to his surprise he was again turned away. The Devil was simply honoring his promise to never take Jack's soul. Jack asked the Devil where he should go and the Devil said go back where you came from. Jack soon found his way back to be very dark and windy so Jack pleaded with the Devil to give him some light to find his way. The Devil tossed a live hot coal straight from the fires of Hell at Jack. Jack placed it in the turnip he was eating so he could light his way and prevent it from blowing out in the wind.
Ever since then stingy old Jack has been doomed to wander in darkness with his lantern until "Judgment day". So Jack of the lantern became known as Jack-O-Lantern, the symbol of a damned soul.
Hope this spells things out for the rest of you....don't be stingy, drink in moderation, and for crying out loud, do not talk to strangers in the bar!
So that was Jack's story but betcha also didn't know that people also placed candles in hollowed out turnips to keep spirits and ghosts away on what they called the Samhain holiday. Samhain sounds out like sow-en or sow-in. The word we know as 'Halloween' had its origin in the Catholic church and comes from a contraction of All Hallows Eve. November 1st, "All Saints Day", is a Catholic day of observance in honor of saints. But in the 5th century BC, in Celtic Ireland, summer was officially over on October 31st. This holiday was called Samhain or the Celtic New Year...meaning 'end of summer'.
Legend claims on this day, the disembodied spirits of all those who had died throughout the previous year would come back searching for living bodies to possess for the next year. Sounds like a spooky shopping spree to me. Anyway, it is believed to be their only hope for the afterlife. The Celts believe all laws of space and time were suspended during this time allowing the spirit world to mingle with the living.
Oddly enough, the living didn't care much for being possessed. Imagine that! So on the night of October 31st, villagers would put their fires out at home to make them as cold and undesirable as possible. Then they would dress up in ghoulish costumes and noisily parade around the neighborhood, being as destructive as possible, in order to frighten away spirits searching for bodies to possess. Hmm, kind of like occupying wall street of the day?!
For some more trivia, betcha didn't know that the 1978 movie titled "Halloween" was filmed in a short 21 days on a very limited budget. The movie was shot during the spring so they had to fake the Fall leaves. Although the film is set in Illinois, oddly enough all the vehicles in the movie had California license plates. Spooky, huh?
Betcha didn't know that black cats were once believed to be witch's familiars and were there to protect their powers. The witch is a central symbol of Halloween. The name comes from the Saxon wica, meaning wise one. When setting out for a Sabbath, witches rubbed a sacred ointment onto their skin. This gave them a sensation of flying, and if they had been fasting they felt even giddier.
Some witches rode on horseback, but poor witches went on foot and carried a broom or a pole to aid in vaulting over streams. In England when new witches were initiated they were often blindfolded, smeared with flying ointment and placed on a broomstick. The ointment would confuse the mind, speed up the pulse and numb the feet. When they were told "you are flying over land and sea" the witch took their words for it.
Anybody know where we can purchase some of this flying ointment? Betcha don't know! Happy Haunting and Twick or Tweets to all!
Sister Very Black & Catty
Thursday, October 6, 2011
FOOT NOTES
Oops, got a few days behind in blogging again...unintentionally, of course. Okay, I'll confess! It's not my fault at all. My 'altar ego' aka my creator & typist seems a bit absorbed in the new television Fall line up...mainly DWTS. Somewhere between watching the contestants perform on Monday night and then anxiously awaiting to see who gets kicked off the dance floor on Tuesday night...well, she gets lost. Go figure this is what she wants to talk about before we get back to Carly and a 'As the Foot Heels' update.
Speaking of DWTS, awhile back we defended Chaz, feeling he might as well have a shot at the trophy like anyone else. However, I'm afraid I have to report the dude does not seem to have much in the way of rhythm. At least not in his feet anyway. In fact, he hardly moves. I'd even be concerned if his ass was on fire...seriously. I definitely wouldn't describe what he does on Monday nights as dancing. Looks more like he's the support pole for his very wiggly partner. The previous week it was his knees that held him back and obviously if he'd drop some pounds he'd not have so much trouble. The dancing would sure help him do that but one's got to actually move around in the process. I'm seriously worried for Chaz. I'd hate to think his mother's impending appearance in the audience next week is the only reason he was voted to stay but that seems to be what people think. Personally, I'd love to see Cher there but I just hope Chaz can come up with a routine he can move to so his Mom's not too embarrassed.
While I'm on a roll I might as well comment on a couple of the other contestants too. There are some good things happening and improvements noted each week. I suppose we could say it's so easy to spot the bad dancers right now and those that are really dancing and getting better are making it tougher each week to see who will win.
Now I'm sure it's no secret we need to get rid of Nancy the ungraceful...in all honesty I find that hard to watch. I just feel whenever her partner has to swing her around or dip her that he's going to seriously injure his back, tip over or drop her. Partner her up with Chaz and stop the madness. The soccer champ does so-so but she just seems to not want to lady-up enough to pull it off.
The silly male fashionista is hilarious and seems to be entertaining enough that you don't pay much attention to the fact that it's supposed to be ballroom dancing. He'd probably just as soon have a dinner date with Max as to take home any trophy for dancing.
Okay, I think that's enough of a review for now. I do enjoy the show and obviously it's not really a dance competition but rather a popularity contest. I just hope next season they find some real stars. Wonder if Betty White is available or how about Ellen...she can dance! Try Oprah or what about Tim Allen, where's George Castanza? I could think of a lot of real stars I'd rather see than this year's rather lame selection so it's too bad no one asked me.
Moving on to Carly I believe she recently shared her concerns about Mom's threat to attempt another go with the crutches. As luck would have it she almost fell when she tried using them again so that mission was immediately aborted. Luck held out again when a car race came on TV so Mom decided to remain on the couch and relax and watch it between grabbing a few zzz's and rubbing Carly's freckled belly.
Unfortunately Carly thinks her luck ran out because, much to her surprise, Dad decided to give her a bath. An unwarranted bath in Carly's mind. After all she had been a good girl, had not rolled in anything, dedicating all her free time to helping Mom get better. Carly hates getting wet and the only good part of the ordeal was being wrapped in a big warm towel and being placed on Mom's chest. Mom made sure she was dry and Carly let her know she appreciated it by licking her nose and mouth. That's a definite dog thing we cats just don't get. Anyway she hopes that's the only bath she'll have to have. Of course, I had to set her straight and let her know she doesn't have to roll in anything to be made to take a bath. See, dogs are so behind the times. Cats bathe themselves and rarely do they tolerate a human putting them in a tub of water. No way, never gonna happen...at least not without claws and a major war. Dogs just can't do it themselves and humans want them to smell nice so that's life, canines...it's bath time. It's really a small price to pay for the luxury of living indoors...think about it.
Then Carly goes and gets lizard breath...yes, caught herself a lizard which Mom didn't approve of because lizards kill bugs. Then to top things off it didn't even taste good so she spit it out. Carly...such a dog. What else can I say?
Good Night...Sister Very Catty
Speaking of DWTS, awhile back we defended Chaz, feeling he might as well have a shot at the trophy like anyone else. However, I'm afraid I have to report the dude does not seem to have much in the way of rhythm. At least not in his feet anyway. In fact, he hardly moves. I'd even be concerned if his ass was on fire...seriously. I definitely wouldn't describe what he does on Monday nights as dancing. Looks more like he's the support pole for his very wiggly partner. The previous week it was his knees that held him back and obviously if he'd drop some pounds he'd not have so much trouble. The dancing would sure help him do that but one's got to actually move around in the process. I'm seriously worried for Chaz. I'd hate to think his mother's impending appearance in the audience next week is the only reason he was voted to stay but that seems to be what people think. Personally, I'd love to see Cher there but I just hope Chaz can come up with a routine he can move to so his Mom's not too embarrassed.
While I'm on a roll I might as well comment on a couple of the other contestants too. There are some good things happening and improvements noted each week. I suppose we could say it's so easy to spot the bad dancers right now and those that are really dancing and getting better are making it tougher each week to see who will win.
Now I'm sure it's no secret we need to get rid of Nancy the ungraceful...in all honesty I find that hard to watch. I just feel whenever her partner has to swing her around or dip her that he's going to seriously injure his back, tip over or drop her. Partner her up with Chaz and stop the madness. The soccer champ does so-so but she just seems to not want to lady-up enough to pull it off.
The silly male fashionista is hilarious and seems to be entertaining enough that you don't pay much attention to the fact that it's supposed to be ballroom dancing. He'd probably just as soon have a dinner date with Max as to take home any trophy for dancing.
Okay, I think that's enough of a review for now. I do enjoy the show and obviously it's not really a dance competition but rather a popularity contest. I just hope next season they find some real stars. Wonder if Betty White is available or how about Ellen...she can dance! Try Oprah or what about Tim Allen, where's George Castanza? I could think of a lot of real stars I'd rather see than this year's rather lame selection so it's too bad no one asked me.
Moving on to Carly I believe she recently shared her concerns about Mom's threat to attempt another go with the crutches. As luck would have it she almost fell when she tried using them again so that mission was immediately aborted. Luck held out again when a car race came on TV so Mom decided to remain on the couch and relax and watch it between grabbing a few zzz's and rubbing Carly's freckled belly.
Unfortunately Carly thinks her luck ran out because, much to her surprise, Dad decided to give her a bath. An unwarranted bath in Carly's mind. After all she had been a good girl, had not rolled in anything, dedicating all her free time to helping Mom get better. Carly hates getting wet and the only good part of the ordeal was being wrapped in a big warm towel and being placed on Mom's chest. Mom made sure she was dry and Carly let her know she appreciated it by licking her nose and mouth. That's a definite dog thing we cats just don't get. Anyway she hopes that's the only bath she'll have to have. Of course, I had to set her straight and let her know she doesn't have to roll in anything to be made to take a bath. See, dogs are so behind the times. Cats bathe themselves and rarely do they tolerate a human putting them in a tub of water. No way, never gonna happen...at least not without claws and a major war. Dogs just can't do it themselves and humans want them to smell nice so that's life, canines...it's bath time. It's really a small price to pay for the luxury of living indoors...think about it.
Then Carly goes and gets lizard breath...yes, caught herself a lizard which Mom didn't approve of because lizards kill bugs. Then to top things off it didn't even taste good so she spit it out. Carly...such a dog. What else can I say?
Good Night...Sister Very Catty
Monday, October 3, 2011
AS THE FOOT HEELS....
Poor Carly's recent stroll was jeopardized when they took Mom along with her wheeled cart...read on...
Hi Sister, it's me Carly. I thought I'd write and tell you about Mom's latest adventure. Yesterday after dinner and, of course, my dinner treats, we all went for a walk. Well, to be honest Dad & I went for a walk like we often do and my human Mom tried to go on her wheelie thing that she kneels on. She didn't do too good. The first part was uphill and she was slow. I was trying to sniff everything and Dad usually keeps up with me at a good clip but my Mom was so slow we had to keep waiting for her. I didn't mind though because it was nice to have her along. We got the mail which is a short block away. After that it was downhill for awhile. She could go faster but her wheels kept hitting the little rocks on the sidewalk. Each time it jerked the handles of her kneely wheelie thing and almost threw her to the ground. After several such incidents she decided just to cut the walk short and go home. Dad didn't want to leave her to go home by herself so we all came back. I wanted to walk more and was disappointed but they gave me a treat when I got home, just like when I walk the whole way so I'm okay with that. Mom was awfully tired when we got back. She used to walk a mile or so with me so I think having this foot kasd has really zapped her strength. I hope she builds it up soon, I like to walk with her. Carly.
Dear Carly,
Well, bless your tiny buns for trying to take Mom along. Unfortunately my best advice though would be to leave her at home. The longer she keeps weight off that foot the better she'll walk with you in the future. Future being a couple months away yet so you hang tight with Dad until she's capable of rejoining you on the walks. It's all for the better, trust me. Maybe if you gave Dad some treats for taking you on more walks you could get away with more serious sniffing adventures. I know Mom misses the walking but perhaps she can watch you guys from your upstairs look-out post.
Now tell me you didn't get a chuckle out of seeing Mom when her wheelie thing hit the skids because of a tiny rock in the road. From my wise cracking view I see that kind of funny but would not have been had it taken her over the handlebars...so again I suggest leaving her in the window!
Sister VC
Hi Sister, it's me Carly. I thought I'd write and tell you about Mom's latest adventure. Yesterday after dinner and, of course, my dinner treats, we all went for a walk. Well, to be honest Dad & I went for a walk like we often do and my human Mom tried to go on her wheelie thing that she kneels on. She didn't do too good. The first part was uphill and she was slow. I was trying to sniff everything and Dad usually keeps up with me at a good clip but my Mom was so slow we had to keep waiting for her. I didn't mind though because it was nice to have her along. We got the mail which is a short block away. After that it was downhill for awhile. She could go faster but her wheels kept hitting the little rocks on the sidewalk. Each time it jerked the handles of her kneely wheelie thing and almost threw her to the ground. After several such incidents she decided just to cut the walk short and go home. Dad didn't want to leave her to go home by herself so we all came back. I wanted to walk more and was disappointed but they gave me a treat when I got home, just like when I walk the whole way so I'm okay with that. Mom was awfully tired when we got back. She used to walk a mile or so with me so I think having this foot kasd has really zapped her strength. I hope she builds it up soon, I like to walk with her. Carly.
Dear Carly,
Well, bless your tiny buns for trying to take Mom along. Unfortunately my best advice though would be to leave her at home. The longer she keeps weight off that foot the better she'll walk with you in the future. Future being a couple months away yet so you hang tight with Dad until she's capable of rejoining you on the walks. It's all for the better, trust me. Maybe if you gave Dad some treats for taking you on more walks you could get away with more serious sniffing adventures. I know Mom misses the walking but perhaps she can watch you guys from your upstairs look-out post.
Now tell me you didn't get a chuckle out of seeing Mom when her wheelie thing hit the skids because of a tiny rock in the road. From my wise cracking view I see that kind of funny but would not have been had it taken her over the handlebars...so again I suggest leaving her in the window!
Sister VC
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