When did this become a once-a-month blog....what's up with that? So this month's post will be in response to a recent note from one who seems to be at a crossroads:
Dear Sister VC,
I have finally made my way out of menopause only to find myself once again in puberty at the age of 59! For example: developing a crush on someone unattainable; revisiting old childhood hurts!! Please don't tell me to get a pet...I am a world traveler and can't be tied down right now.
Any thoughts?
Perplexed in Pennsylvania
Dear PP,
Curious....who's steering the course on your ship's Tour de Life? Occurs to me, a neighborhood traveler myself, that maybe you need a new route master.
I'm sensing that by making your way out of men-o-pause you temporarily chose a single life and are now entertaining the possibilities of having a relationship.
Puberty at any age basically sucks...get over it. Does the upcoming number '60' bother you? Get over that, too. Absolutely nothing you can do about it and if Cher can't turn back time, neither can you. Maybe puberty isn't the issue any more than menopause.
Did you forget you're the captain of your own ship? As a cat with most of her nine lives still in tact, I'm feeling the need to spell it out, for you who has but one life.
You claim YOU, a woman of free will and sound mind, allowed yourself to develop a crush on someone unattainable. Allowed being the key word here, not crush, not unattainable. Has it not occurred to you that maybe this crush came about with someone unattainable because of that factor? Subconsciously you fear re-entry to the dating scene with an available someone? Face it, should the unattainable someone not be on board with you the ship will never sail anyway.
Concerning the old childhood hurts...ah-hem...you did say you were 59 years old, right? Way past time to don the big girl panties and get over that too! C'mon...old hurts? To the cat box with the scat I say. Huge waste of time on your part to dwell on things of that sort. Besides the fact that if you keep looking back you may very well miss what's ahead. Next thing I suppose you'll tell me you're a recovering Catholic.
Now regarding you're not having a pet....that's just wrong. Where would Thumbs be today if I had not wanted a human? A pet should be your very reason for existence and I highly recommend a a cat!
Blessings & Bon Voyage,
Sister Very Catty
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
BLESS the REMOTE
Anybody else notice what was on TV this past week? A golden opportunity to watch some real golden oldies, that's what. I'm talkin' bout old black and white episodes of the Andy Griffith Show in tribute to their 50th anniversary. That's right...a fifty day vacation in goofy, sleepy-old Mayberry. What a treat to revisit Andy, Opie, Aunt Bea, Barney, and their quirky small-town pals.
While I'm not going to meow on and on about the good old days, or how things just aren't what they used to be, blah, blah, blah...I am going to squawk a bit about what's happening on the boob tube currently. Of course, nothing stays the same, we all know that. I mean who would really want to remain in the fifties or sixties anyway? Got to keep moving forward...progress, people! It is nice, however, to reminisce from time to time and seeing Sheriff Taylor certainly stirs up some happy memories of yesteryear...you know...when watching television was actually enjoyable.
On the rare occasion a good program comes on these days, its life expectancy is short. On and on they go about the exciting new season opener and next thing you know, four or so episodes later, it's the season finale. Bait you, hook you, and you're back sucking pond-water.
For the most part it seems television has traded the good old days of the hour long variety shows of singing, dancing, and comedy skits for the dislikes of say 'Project Runway', for instance, where you gaze at angry, emaciated waifs sashaying down the runway. Holy cat claws! Who will be our next top model?...WHO GIVES A SCRATCH! (Just once I'd like to see one of those skinny bitties do a diva dive off the end of the runway...stilettos flying...now that might be worth watching!)
Nowadays you've got your choice between the Bitchy Housewives of Wherever, Keeping up with the Kardashia-who's, or a miscellaneous assortment of attention-starved bozos. I mean, seriously, who are these people? Does anyone watch this crap on purpose? If only Deano was still around crooning 'everybody loves somebody sometime'...
I could go on and on, let loose with a few more well earned insults toward the situation, but then I'm only a cat so I'll leave it at that. Instead I give much deserved kudos to The Weather Channel, The Cooking Channel, The History Channel, The Discovery Channel and my personal favorite - Animal Planet featuring Cats 101. Now that's entertainment!
Blessings & Happy Channel Suffering...'er I mean Surfing
While I'm not going to meow on and on about the good old days, or how things just aren't what they used to be, blah, blah, blah...I am going to squawk a bit about what's happening on the boob tube currently. Of course, nothing stays the same, we all know that. I mean who would really want to remain in the fifties or sixties anyway? Got to keep moving forward...progress, people! It is nice, however, to reminisce from time to time and seeing Sheriff Taylor certainly stirs up some happy memories of yesteryear...you know...when watching television was actually enjoyable.
On the rare occasion a good program comes on these days, its life expectancy is short. On and on they go about the exciting new season opener and next thing you know, four or so episodes later, it's the season finale. Bait you, hook you, and you're back sucking pond-water.
For the most part it seems television has traded the good old days of the hour long variety shows of singing, dancing, and comedy skits for the dislikes of say 'Project Runway', for instance, where you gaze at angry, emaciated waifs sashaying down the runway. Holy cat claws! Who will be our next top model?...WHO GIVES A SCRATCH! (Just once I'd like to see one of those skinny bitties do a diva dive off the end of the runway...stilettos flying...now that might be worth watching!)
Nowadays you've got your choice between the Bitchy Housewives of Wherever, Keeping up with the Kardashia-who's, or a miscellaneous assortment of attention-starved bozos. I mean, seriously, who are these people? Does anyone watch this crap on purpose? If only Deano was still around crooning 'everybody loves somebody sometime'...
I could go on and on, let loose with a few more well earned insults toward the situation, but then I'm only a cat so I'll leave it at that. Instead I give much deserved kudos to The Weather Channel, The Cooking Channel, The History Channel, The Discovery Channel and my personal favorite - Animal Planet featuring Cats 101. Now that's entertainment!
Blessings & Happy Channel Suffering...'er I mean Surfing
Saturday, July 24, 2010
MATCHMAKER'S ME-OW
From Sister's in box we have the following question:
Dear Sister VC,
What do you do when you haven't dated in years and your friends keep bugging you? "Don't you want to meet someone?" ...and yet you are perfectly happy. I'm almost 60 years old and could care less. I'm finally happy just to be with myself and a few good friends.
Signed,
Fed-Up Fiona
Dear Fed-Up,
What in Puss 'n Boots name would we do without our friends? Better yet, what would our friends do without us? There's your question. You, being the person of interest, offer your friends something far more entertaining than their own trivial pursuits. Same old caca, different day, but what about YOU? Unmarried and all, you poor lonely gal, stuck at home with her cat. (You do have a cat, don't you? ...if not, get one!)
Two roads to take, choice is yours. On the one paw, next time you find yourself engaged in conversation with these well-meaning buds of yours, take command of said conversation. The minute the chit chat turns to your single-hood, start firing questions off.
For example...BFF #1, when was the last time so and so sent you flowers? Tell me you can remember! Direct the next round at BFF #2 with something like...have you and whats-his-name been out on a date night lately? What's up with that? Then hit BFF #3 with how small your grocery bill was last month and it's so fun to cook for one these days.
On the other paw, if that didn't send them running out of of your cat box, it's time to pull out the big guns. Turn on your mysterious aura...like the cat that swallowed the canary (pure fiction) only you aren't singing!
You'll be thanking me and the academy soon for your Oscar winning role. Act I begins with you dropping evasive hints that you met someone recently. Bat your eyelashes as you describe this dreamy-eyed tom cat of a man. Work it, Baby! He can be whoever you want. Your very own imaginary Adonis. Drag it on thru several acts, baiting them, hooking them, and then abruptly changing the subject. Curiosity killed the cat (old wives' tale I'm sure) but you remain aloof the entire time...you know...after all, it's merely that love struck look.
Should they start to get too nosy, wanting to meet this imaginary dude...well, simply dump him! After all, that's what I-Harmony is all about, right? (imaginary-harmony and what's that little 'e' stand for anyway?)
Did I mention two roads? There's a third road...tell your "friends" to go stare into a mirror for a switch.
Peace out my sister!
Dear Sister VC,
What do you do when you haven't dated in years and your friends keep bugging you? "Don't you want to meet someone?" ...and yet you are perfectly happy. I'm almost 60 years old and could care less. I'm finally happy just to be with myself and a few good friends.
Signed,
Fed-Up Fiona
Dear Fed-Up,
What in Puss 'n Boots name would we do without our friends? Better yet, what would our friends do without us? There's your question. You, being the person of interest, offer your friends something far more entertaining than their own trivial pursuits. Same old caca, different day, but what about YOU? Unmarried and all, you poor lonely gal, stuck at home with her cat. (You do have a cat, don't you? ...if not, get one!)
Two roads to take, choice is yours. On the one paw, next time you find yourself engaged in conversation with these well-meaning buds of yours, take command of said conversation. The minute the chit chat turns to your single-hood, start firing questions off.
For example...BFF #1, when was the last time so and so sent you flowers? Tell me you can remember! Direct the next round at BFF #2 with something like...have you and whats-his-name been out on a date night lately? What's up with that? Then hit BFF #3 with how small your grocery bill was last month and it's so fun to cook for one these days.
On the other paw, if that didn't send them running out of of your cat box, it's time to pull out the big guns. Turn on your mysterious aura...like the cat that swallowed the canary (pure fiction) only you aren't singing!
You'll be thanking me and the academy soon for your Oscar winning role. Act I begins with you dropping evasive hints that you met someone recently. Bat your eyelashes as you describe this dreamy-eyed tom cat of a man. Work it, Baby! He can be whoever you want. Your very own imaginary Adonis. Drag it on thru several acts, baiting them, hooking them, and then abruptly changing the subject. Curiosity killed the cat (old wives' tale I'm sure) but you remain aloof the entire time...you know...after all, it's merely that love struck look.
Should they start to get too nosy, wanting to meet this imaginary dude...well, simply dump him! After all, that's what I-Harmony is all about, right? (imaginary-harmony and what's that little 'e' stand for anyway?)
Did I mention two roads? There's a third road...tell your "friends" to go stare into a mirror for a switch.
Peace out my sister!
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
CALLING CERBERUS...
Earlier this month I received an e-mail with some deep concerns over a very serious matter. I did my best to address it but it's a real challenge to find words to cover something so sad.
Dear Sister VC,
There has been a lot in the news lately about drug smugglers using horses to haul drugs across parts of the US border with no more than barbed wire, then the horses are tied to a bush and left to die in the desert. Once the drugs have been picked up by vehicles for transport to northern cities there is no more need for the horse. I realize that this is a hot-button subject, both 'fur' and against things going on right now and I don't anticipate a kitty of the Feline Order to participate in political hash. I am only interested in your animal point of view.
There are rescue groups who try to save them, in fact there is one horse up for adoption, listed several weeks now in the Tucson paper . If I had the appropriate property I would so offer this horse a safe home. Other horses are stolen from ranches along the border, then deserted further north to die in the desert. Sadder yet horses are by no means the only animals involved in this drama. Dogs are also being killed in order to silence their barking as the trespassing takes place across private properties.
Being an animal lover I've been bothered by nightmares about these innocent creatures of both drug and human smugglers. It upsets me that humans can care so little for these creatures. Can you offer me some solace or explanation for such inhumane behavior?
Signed,
Critter Lover
Dear Critter Lover,
Your e-mail reminds me of why I dislike reading or listening to the news so much. Of course, I am a bit prejudice when it comes to anything regarding the animal kingdom, and although it's a rare occurrence, I am almost at a loss for words. Things like this tend to curl my whiskers.
I simply have no explanation for such crude, senseless, selfish behavior out of humankind. Humans..."the paragon of animals", to quote Shakespeare...strange they can be so inhumane.
No animal deserves this kind of mistreatment, if only the tables could be turned. The reality of it is that even if the animal is rescued it has to be trained to trust humans again. Seems to me that if theses inhumane individuals go about such things they should just stick to their own kind and leave the innocent animals out of it.
There was an article written by Carmen Duarte in the July 9th issue of the Arizona Daily Star regarding the rehabilitation of drug smuggling horses. It explained the process of rescuing these horses and bringing them back to a better life. We must be thankful for such rescue groups as they invest their hearts and souls into the betterment of these innocent creatures. The article was titled "Carrying Hope Instead of Drugs" and it was well written with information about the rescue groups.
Speaking of hope brings to mind what I feel would only be fair justice to those guilty of committing such acts of injustice. May they face that gate in Dante's Inferno that reads: "Abandon every hope, ye who enters here". Let's have Cerberus escort the lot of them to about the 7th circle of hell.
So my dear critter lover, I too wish you had the space to offer a kind, loving home to a rescued horse. I'm sure that would be one happy, thankful animal. I don't know that I can offer much solace concerning something so sad but at least know there are many among us who share your feelings on the subject. It wouldn't hurt any of us to at least send up a special prayer each day for all the animals and trust it will be heard.
Blessings!
Dear Sister VC,
There has been a lot in the news lately about drug smugglers using horses to haul drugs across parts of the US border with no more than barbed wire, then the horses are tied to a bush and left to die in the desert. Once the drugs have been picked up by vehicles for transport to northern cities there is no more need for the horse. I realize that this is a hot-button subject, both 'fur' and against things going on right now and I don't anticipate a kitty of the Feline Order to participate in political hash. I am only interested in your animal point of view.
There are rescue groups who try to save them, in fact there is one horse up for adoption, listed several weeks now in the Tucson paper . If I had the appropriate property I would so offer this horse a safe home. Other horses are stolen from ranches along the border, then deserted further north to die in the desert. Sadder yet horses are by no means the only animals involved in this drama. Dogs are also being killed in order to silence their barking as the trespassing takes place across private properties.
Being an animal lover I've been bothered by nightmares about these innocent creatures of both drug and human smugglers. It upsets me that humans can care so little for these creatures. Can you offer me some solace or explanation for such inhumane behavior?
Signed,
Critter Lover
Dear Critter Lover,
Your e-mail reminds me of why I dislike reading or listening to the news so much. Of course, I am a bit prejudice when it comes to anything regarding the animal kingdom, and although it's a rare occurrence, I am almost at a loss for words. Things like this tend to curl my whiskers.
I simply have no explanation for such crude, senseless, selfish behavior out of humankind. Humans..."the paragon of animals", to quote Shakespeare...strange they can be so inhumane.
No animal deserves this kind of mistreatment, if only the tables could be turned. The reality of it is that even if the animal is rescued it has to be trained to trust humans again. Seems to me that if theses inhumane individuals go about such things they should just stick to their own kind and leave the innocent animals out of it.
There was an article written by Carmen Duarte in the July 9th issue of the Arizona Daily Star regarding the rehabilitation of drug smuggling horses. It explained the process of rescuing these horses and bringing them back to a better life. We must be thankful for such rescue groups as they invest their hearts and souls into the betterment of these innocent creatures. The article was titled "Carrying Hope Instead of Drugs" and it was well written with information about the rescue groups.
Speaking of hope brings to mind what I feel would only be fair justice to those guilty of committing such acts of injustice. May they face that gate in Dante's Inferno that reads: "Abandon every hope, ye who enters here". Let's have Cerberus escort the lot of them to about the 7th circle of hell.
So my dear critter lover, I too wish you had the space to offer a kind, loving home to a rescued horse. I'm sure that would be one happy, thankful animal. I don't know that I can offer much solace concerning something so sad but at least know there are many among us who share your feelings on the subject. It wouldn't hurt any of us to at least send up a special prayer each day for all the animals and trust it will be heard.
Blessings!
Monday, July 19, 2010
Keeping Up the Pace
Happy hot July to all! Long time no blog! I could say it was due to unforeseen circumstances...but I won't. I could say you wouldn't believe what happened last month...but I won't. I could say it's hard to get good help these days...but I won't.
Instead let's just go with the fact that my human, "Thumbs", as I like to call her (since, let's face facts, these appendages are what I pay her for!) experienced a wee bit of trouble keeping up the pace. Make her type when she's not in the mood and I guarantee you she goes cranky on me. Lucky for me when she's on a roll and both fingers are flying she never reads what she's typing. Consequently I can get away with a bit of badgering but don't get me wrong, we have an excellent relationship. The main reason she agreed to be my assistant was that typing my blog had to be better than listening to my incessant meowing. Touche!
Anyway, in the meantime, back at the Catvent, we'd like to introduce a new upcoming feature to our little blog. The Notch of the Week is coming your way soon.
From time to time haven't we all run across something that just about raises the hair on our back, rubs us the wrong way, makes our blood boil, gets the whiskers in a bunch? You know what I'm talking about! The things you see when you don't have a camera or a witness!
Then there are other times when something happens that strikes the funny bone, makes us laugh out loud, causes a warm fuzzy feeling or gives you a chill.
So good, bad or ugly, each week I will be on the lookout for something that screams for a whack from Sister's yardstick.
If any of you out there come across something you feel deserves a notch on my yardstick just send me an e-mail at: sistervc2@gmail.com
After all, this should be fun!
Notches Away!
Friday, June 4, 2010
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SMELL?
The following e-mail just in from a lady who traveled many miles to visit family in Pennsylvania. Their home is located right at the edge of a forest so it sounded like Mother Nature at its finest but perhaps a little more than this 'Nana' bargained for.
Dear Sister Very Catty,
I've just returned from a wonderful vacation where I visited with my son and his family, seeing the sights nearby and playing Nana to the grand-kids. One sight in particular I should warn others about....if you're ever going to see the Smithsonian in Washington, DC your best bet would be to go by helicopter because there is apparently no visible private transportation parking to be found! So if you want to go bad enough you can try using the public transportation system, a partially above ground, mostly below ground claustrophobic causing train. Time your touristic venture just right and you may also experience the red line, orange line, blue line transfer of mass confusion. For some reason there doesn't appear to be any signs directing you as to which line is which so it's look lost and hope someone comes along and offers help. Then if you get the lucky train you get the boot shy of your destination because it's rush hour and they turn the train around and head it back to the center of the city!
After that excursion we did enjoy a great Memorial Day meal at home and afterward decided to sit on the porch and relax enjoying the view of the forest. Suddenly I spotted a rather anorexic-looking fox racing across the field beside the house heading for the forest. Since the only foxes I'd ever seen were on TV I didn't have a lot to compare with but this was one very skinny fox. Not too long after that the neighbor comes over asking if we'd seen a rabid fox go by. Immediately I thought better of relaxing on the porch, maybe not such a good idea after all...but then I did have food to digest so moving wasn't an option just yet.
Next thing you know we see several men with rifles in several golf carts heading into the woods. Now while that was pretty entertaining in itself it was a far cry from the fox hunts on TV where people get on horses with their big-butted pants and ride off with the hounds to hunt the fox. This poor fox being hunted by men in golf carts...well, that's just an indignity, rabies or not! Last we heard the fox was never found.
Now my actual question to you Sister stems from what happened the day before when Mr. Fox trotted rabidly through the yard. It was a beautiful Saturday so the entire family decided to do yard work. I'm pushing great grand baby around in the stroller and the family pet, a golden retriever is playing in the yard amongst all of us. I might add this is a very smart dog that never wanders off to snoop in the forest. All of a sudden I begin to get a whiff of a very unpleasant odor. I attempted to point it out to the others but no one else seemed to believe me....until we all headed back to the house through the garage. It was a sinus-awakening jolt! Upon looking around we notice the dog has something smeared all over its neck and sides. Now have I mentioned the woods nearby complete with a creek, geese, rabbits, rabid fox, etc.? Turns out this poor pooch has literally rolled in deer poop! Now I know you being of the feline order would never think to do such a thing, and I do love dogs, but do you have any feline interpretation of such dog behavior?
Signed,
Curious in Tucson
Dear Curious,
Sounds like a vacation to remember...uh-huh...remember to pack the aerosol arsenal next trip!
While I'm not the biggest fan of the canine order I have no personal problem with them and my humans love dogs as well as cats, so understand I am not profiling here or anything. It's just that truth be known dogs were actually put on Earth to help the male human counterpart feel better about themselves.
Observing a dog's antics never fails to lift a man's spirits. No matter what kind of BS a man puts up with during the day, no matter how the world has let him down, with a dog in his life he just couldn't possibly stay down for long. Whether Fido or Rover or LuLu is displaying that big sorrowful feed-me-a-treat look, or begging for scratchies, or to play ball, or just performing a round of tail chasing, it is always going to make man feel better about man.
Let's face facts here...dogs are pretty much stuck on stupid and it's common knowledge you can't fix stupid. Seriously, have you ever witnessed a cat taking the time out to bring you the newspaper or your slippers? Ever seen one do the scoot routine across the carpet or chase its tail? Didn't think so. Thus, men are men and dogs are dogs cuz that's how they roll.
Now it seems to me that I have heard somewhere that some of those males out there who possess the need to go out and kill something (commonly referred to as hunting) actually can go and purchase deer urine to do what with I'd prefer not to know. Perhaps smear it on themselves like the dog?
Maybe this golden retriever had a better idea than its counterparts so the reason behind the poop smear could be....
Holy whiskers, I got nuthin'!
Stupid is as stupid does?
Blessings with a shot of air freshener to you!
Dear Sister Very Catty,
I've just returned from a wonderful vacation where I visited with my son and his family, seeing the sights nearby and playing Nana to the grand-kids. One sight in particular I should warn others about....if you're ever going to see the Smithsonian in Washington, DC your best bet would be to go by helicopter because there is apparently no visible private transportation parking to be found! So if you want to go bad enough you can try using the public transportation system, a partially above ground, mostly below ground claustrophobic causing train. Time your touristic venture just right and you may also experience the red line, orange line, blue line transfer of mass confusion. For some reason there doesn't appear to be any signs directing you as to which line is which so it's look lost and hope someone comes along and offers help. Then if you get the lucky train you get the boot shy of your destination because it's rush hour and they turn the train around and head it back to the center of the city!
After that excursion we did enjoy a great Memorial Day meal at home and afterward decided to sit on the porch and relax enjoying the view of the forest. Suddenly I spotted a rather anorexic-looking fox racing across the field beside the house heading for the forest. Since the only foxes I'd ever seen were on TV I didn't have a lot to compare with but this was one very skinny fox. Not too long after that the neighbor comes over asking if we'd seen a rabid fox go by. Immediately I thought better of relaxing on the porch, maybe not such a good idea after all...but then I did have food to digest so moving wasn't an option just yet.
Next thing you know we see several men with rifles in several golf carts heading into the woods. Now while that was pretty entertaining in itself it was a far cry from the fox hunts on TV where people get on horses with their big-butted pants and ride off with the hounds to hunt the fox. This poor fox being hunted by men in golf carts...well, that's just an indignity, rabies or not! Last we heard the fox was never found.
Now my actual question to you Sister stems from what happened the day before when Mr. Fox trotted rabidly through the yard. It was a beautiful Saturday so the entire family decided to do yard work. I'm pushing great grand baby around in the stroller and the family pet, a golden retriever is playing in the yard amongst all of us. I might add this is a very smart dog that never wanders off to snoop in the forest. All of a sudden I begin to get a whiff of a very unpleasant odor. I attempted to point it out to the others but no one else seemed to believe me....until we all headed back to the house through the garage. It was a sinus-awakening jolt! Upon looking around we notice the dog has something smeared all over its neck and sides. Now have I mentioned the woods nearby complete with a creek, geese, rabbits, rabid fox, etc.? Turns out this poor pooch has literally rolled in deer poop! Now I know you being of the feline order would never think to do such a thing, and I do love dogs, but do you have any feline interpretation of such dog behavior?
Signed,
Curious in Tucson
Dear Curious,
Sounds like a vacation to remember...uh-huh...remember to pack the aerosol arsenal next trip!
While I'm not the biggest fan of the canine order I have no personal problem with them and my humans love dogs as well as cats, so understand I am not profiling here or anything. It's just that truth be known dogs were actually put on Earth to help the male human counterpart feel better about themselves.
Observing a dog's antics never fails to lift a man's spirits. No matter what kind of BS a man puts up with during the day, no matter how the world has let him down, with a dog in his life he just couldn't possibly stay down for long. Whether Fido or Rover or LuLu is displaying that big sorrowful feed-me-a-treat look, or begging for scratchies, or to play ball, or just performing a round of tail chasing, it is always going to make man feel better about man.
Let's face facts here...dogs are pretty much stuck on stupid and it's common knowledge you can't fix stupid. Seriously, have you ever witnessed a cat taking the time out to bring you the newspaper or your slippers? Ever seen one do the scoot routine across the carpet or chase its tail? Didn't think so. Thus, men are men and dogs are dogs cuz that's how they roll.
Now it seems to me that I have heard somewhere that some of those males out there who possess the need to go out and kill something (commonly referred to as hunting) actually can go and purchase deer urine to do what with I'd prefer not to know. Perhaps smear it on themselves like the dog?
Maybe this golden retriever had a better idea than its counterparts so the reason behind the poop smear could be....
Holy whiskers, I got nuthin'!
Stupid is as stupid does?
Blessings with a shot of air freshener to you!
Monday, May 24, 2010
NEAR-DRY EXPERIENCE
Just where to begin this entry is the question...after a brief and unscheduled absence. Could start with a wise crack about how it's all water under the bridge now but that might not fly since there seemed to be a bit of a "water shortage" amongst us!
How about you can lead a horse (or human) to water but you can't make them drink??!
Let's see a raise of hands here...if we hold up a big tall glass of cool refreshing water in one paw and in the other hold up an ice cold 12 oz. can of Coca-Cola...which would my human go for? Well, everyone that knows my human also knows it would be the can of coke paws down! Unfortunately, had my human been feline I'm pretty certain a couple of those 9 lives would have been spent a couple weeks ago.
Yeah, here I am trying to run a cool cat blog and due to the fact that computers do not come with paw-friendly keyboards I am stuck having to employ the assistance of said human. Now grant you I am always fed on a timely basis, I even get extra if I insist on it, I have yummy munchies available at all times in two locations, as well as, fresh water daily in three locations so my complaints regarding my humans would be very minimal...until recently. You see we had us a little incident occur in our normally quiet, peaceful abode and all due to the simple fact that while I always have fresh water, aforementioned human seems to neglect to partake of said fluids. Consequently when my human goes down for the count bad things can result such as my cat box doesn't get tended to, there's a severe lack of back scratches, my blog gets neglected, and dumb ass human gets a concussion and a black eye complete with stitches. Can we say it's hard to get good help these days?
So while the Coca-Cola flowed freely around here it simply wasn't the right thing to keep my human upright. Lucky for that human to have the other human at home at the time to take care of the situation. Said situation involved a 911 call, a rather uncomfortable ride to a hospital where upon human was forced fluids. Yep, our human was pretty darn dried up in spite of all the Coca-Cola previously consumed.
Finally Dummy came back around and began to once again feel more human but a wee bit disgruntled regarding the entire ordeal. Something about complaining the escort to the hospital in 'that metal box of torture' being very uncomfortable, the intimidation of 6 or 7 paramedics bombarding the scene, and then top it off with having to stay the night in a place this human would rather never know existed. It seems being dehydrated causes one's veins to shy away from IV insertion which resulted in multiple pricks with search needles which resulted in rather large black and blue fields up and down the arms and hands so that was a mite disconcerting. By the time all was said and done my human was actually quite colorful between the shiner and all the bruises. Perhaps someone should warn human not to pass out in the bathroom where it becomes human versus the porcelain goddess. She wins every time but we won't bring that up again, will we?
Anyone feeling parched out there?
How about you can lead a horse (or human) to water but you can't make them drink??!
Let's see a raise of hands here...if we hold up a big tall glass of cool refreshing water in one paw and in the other hold up an ice cold 12 oz. can of Coca-Cola...which would my human go for? Well, everyone that knows my human also knows it would be the can of coke paws down! Unfortunately, had my human been feline I'm pretty certain a couple of those 9 lives would have been spent a couple weeks ago.
Yeah, here I am trying to run a cool cat blog and due to the fact that computers do not come with paw-friendly keyboards I am stuck having to employ the assistance of said human. Now grant you I am always fed on a timely basis, I even get extra if I insist on it, I have yummy munchies available at all times in two locations, as well as, fresh water daily in three locations so my complaints regarding my humans would be very minimal...until recently. You see we had us a little incident occur in our normally quiet, peaceful abode and all due to the simple fact that while I always have fresh water, aforementioned human seems to neglect to partake of said fluids. Consequently when my human goes down for the count bad things can result such as my cat box doesn't get tended to, there's a severe lack of back scratches, my blog gets neglected, and dumb ass human gets a concussion and a black eye complete with stitches. Can we say it's hard to get good help these days?
So while the Coca-Cola flowed freely around here it simply wasn't the right thing to keep my human upright. Lucky for that human to have the other human at home at the time to take care of the situation. Said situation involved a 911 call, a rather uncomfortable ride to a hospital where upon human was forced fluids. Yep, our human was pretty darn dried up in spite of all the Coca-Cola previously consumed.
Finally Dummy came back around and began to once again feel more human but a wee bit disgruntled regarding the entire ordeal. Something about complaining the escort to the hospital in 'that metal box of torture' being very uncomfortable, the intimidation of 6 or 7 paramedics bombarding the scene, and then top it off with having to stay the night in a place this human would rather never know existed. It seems being dehydrated causes one's veins to shy away from IV insertion which resulted in multiple pricks with search needles which resulted in rather large black and blue fields up and down the arms and hands so that was a mite disconcerting. By the time all was said and done my human was actually quite colorful between the shiner and all the bruises. Perhaps someone should warn human not to pass out in the bathroom where it becomes human versus the porcelain goddess. She wins every time but we won't bring that up again, will we?
Anyone feeling parched out there?
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